New Trump, New Year

This New Year’s we say goodbye not just to 2019 but to the second decade of the 21st century.

It seemed not that long ago when the biggest worry we had was the alleged Y2K crisis.  Who knew that 20 months after celebrating the new millennium, 9/11 would turn our world upside down.

And so, with 20% of the century now gone, what is the health of America?

Scanning negative headlines everywhere, the future seems bleak.

Like a vision from the Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come from Charles Dicken’s A Christmas Carol, I can’t help but picture a headstone reading:  The United States,

1776-20–?

But just like Ebenezer Scrooge’s transformation, America can turn it around.

Imagine President Donald J. Trump waking up on New Year’s Day a changed man, compassionate and decent, delivering a speech for the ages, words to unify all Americans.

“My fellow Americans,

For these past three years, I have not been the best person I could have been.

Ever since November of 2016 when I was shocked to learn that I had won the presidential election, I really had no idea what to do next.  My team and I were completely unprepared for those results; our pollsters had Hillary Clinton winning by three million votes.

Since I did not want to come across as someone incompetent, especially since so many believed in the brilliant billionaire businessman they saw on television who hosted “The Apprentice,” I did not want to let citizens down.

From my childhood, when my father sent me to military school, his only child of five for whom he did such a thing, I have felt insecure.  That is why I boast, berate and shout to cover up my inadequacies.

But once the House of Representatives passed those two articles of impeachment, it made me reflect on what type of legacy I want to leave behind.

Just as I am the first president ever to be impeached in his first term, I could become the first president who performed amazing deeds in less than a year.

As of today, I am disabling my Twitter account.  The juvenile name-calling stops now.  Restoring the honor of the office of the presidency is a prime priority.

Dishonesty and misinformation will no longer thrive; the Trump Administration will be known for truthfulness and transparency.

I will rebuild our relationships with our allies and strengthen our human rights concerns with our foes.

I will model bipartisan Congressional relationships by working alongside Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi.

The Trump presidency will welcome those people from other countries who are seeking a better life in America.

I admit that climate change is real, so I will re-affirm the United States’ commitment to the Paris Climate Agreement.

I will embrace not insult the free press, and as a sign of my pledge, will host regularly scheduled press conferences.

And, if after 10 months of Trump 2.0, you wish to reelect me, I would be honored to continue as president for another four years, remembering always that I serve at the pleasure of all Americans.

The enemy is not the person who disagrees with you or votes for someone else, not the person whose religious or ethnicity is different from yours.  No, the enemy is intolerance of those who are unlike you.  That is not America.  We are stronger because of our diversity.

I welcome each and every one of you to remember the words of President George H. W. Bush to be a ‘kinder, gentler nation,” as well as President Kennedy’s proclamation, ‘ask not what your country can do for you—ask what you can do for your country.’  May God bless America.”

I know, I know, like Dickens’ story, it’s a work of fiction.  This is never going to happen.   However, if it did, what a wonderful world this would be.  Happy New Year.

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